The Ugly Duckling was just another Old Bird.

I believe it was Hans Christian Anderson who gave us the moralistic story of The Ugly Duckling that became beautiful with maturity. Did you know that swan's incubate for only two months, and then go on to live for up to 300 years? We humans have a life span of 70 to 100 years, no matter how ugly we are (and we sure don't look better with age)! Human Geezerhood starts at about age 65 when most of us stop earning and learn to live on what we have saved supplemented by the geezer pension. No wonder we don't last long! Swans don't need geezerhood, at least not in the UK, where they are considered crown property and are able to drift around comfortably for a few hundred years protected by that country's first wildlife protection laws.

The creature with the second longest life span is the Turtle. One, found on the island of Mauritius in 1766, was confirmed at 152 years old. A 129 year old Tortoise (close relative -of the turtle!) was found on Rhode Island.

Back in the sky, the eagle and parrot can live for 60 to 100 years, BUT are not thought to die of old age! As their beaks grow, they turn inward upon their lower mandible, making it slowly more difficult to eat. Hence, these magnificent birds die of starvation. Parrots, like grumpy old men, also suffer fits of apoplexy in old age. If, like Long John Silver's Polly, I had to go through life crying out for "Pieces of eight" and listening to the only song the pirates seemed to know, "Fifteen men on a dead mans chest, Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum...", I'd be a good candidate for an apoplectic fit too!

Here are some more interesting facts, about the life spans of our fine feathered friends, provided, over the years, by our naturalists and hobby bird watchers:

• The goose and the raven are able to reach 100 and the ostrich, heron and vulture easily live past 60 years.
• Emperor Maximilian was said to have owned an 80-year-old pelican mascot, which traveled with his army.
• Smaller birds have much shorter lives. Canaries rarely live beyond 25 years even with their usually pampered (except for interruptions by Sylvester) life styles.
• Robins live a scant 12 years, but nest twice a year to keep the population up. That rascal starling checks out at 8 years.
• Turkeys could go on for up to 15 years, if they were to get the same protection as the Swan.

Fish are more difficult to keep track of, but current information gives these figures:

• The Carp holds the record at an average life span of between 75 and 100 years. This longevity and its gold coloration cause this fish to be revered in the Far East. Smoked, I find it to be of the finest eating fish available.
• Bass, trout and perch live an average of about 15 year, but are subject to many predators, including humans.
• Whales (not fish, but they live in the water) are rated between 24 and 37 years.
• Crocodiles (amphibians) are known to reach 75 years on occasion, but alligators only last 34 years.
• The Porpoise wanders the oceans for about 30 years.

Humans, because of modern medicine, appear to have the longest life span of mammals.

• The elephant, with an average life span of between 45 and 80 years, gives us a run for our Medicare dollar. If we discount Medicare and modern life styles, this wandering, gigantic beast is easily the longest living mammal on earth.
• The Rhinoceros lives for 36 to 50 years.
• The camel and dromedary (a "two humpper") from 40 to 50 years, even if they area able to store fat and moisture for hard times.
• The great (large) apes pass on at around 35 years
• Elk and reindeer can live to about 40 years. Oddly enough, reindeer tend to die of a type of vertigo (a disorder involving the feeling that one's surroundings are whirling about - and I thought I had problems with my apoplectic fits!)
• Deer, fox and beaver live for 15 years, porcupine for 12 to 15.
• Squirrels and rabbits have been known to reach 12, but are considered old at 8 years.

Domesticated animals have man to help them with their life span, but here are a few aging facts:

• The horse lives longest at 20 to 36 years. The donkey lasts 25 years and the mule 30.
• Cows rarely live past 25 years (not that we help them much here.)
• Dogs are good for 5 to 15 years, while the nine lived cats live for 7 to 15 years.
• Ba Ba Black sheep, Billy Goat Gruff and Porky Pig will each have 20 birthdays, if they manage to stay out of the oven.

We think of insect life as a matter of hours or days, but here are a couple of persistent ladies:

• The Queen Ant lives for about 16 years!
• The Queen Bee may survive for 5 years or more.
• On the other hand, if you miss slapping a mosquito around noon on the porch, it will probably be dead by sun down.

References:
Encyclopaedia Brittanica
History of the Earth, Vol. 1 - 4 by Oliver Goldsmith.
BC Wild Life Review, 1965
Fishing Lore. (Unpublished) by B.B. Burnand


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