Young Love, New Love, Old Love, or is there such a lovely thing?

For some reason, known only to Mother Nature, humans can develop a very strong emotional tie to their mates. It is the most complex of all human relations. If we can find it, we feel fulfilled and content. If we do not find it, we feel empty and less whole. Love has been explained as "Friendship gone WILD."

TAME love and friendship have many facets, including parental love, sibling love, love of pets and animals, love of country, love of friends. These are all deep emotions, yet are explainable and easy to understand.

WILD FRIENDSHIP is something very special and most difficult to maintain over the long term. We often think that we have found it and enter into a contract (marriage) that says that we are bound together for life and will forsake all others. We celebrate this contract of "Wild Friendship" with a Honeymoon period i.e. sweet-moon time. Our family and friends share our great joy with gifts and parties. We are now a Breeding Pair, the very basics of our clan's survival.

The moon is recognized as the "Mother" symbol in our universe. She is represented in the wild friendship period as the "Sweet- Moon", but also she is Lunacy! When friendship goes wild we say, "you drive me crazy. I'm such a lunatic when I'm with you, I promise you the moon if you'll marry me, she's Moon struck!" If we fall out of wild friendship, we say, "you're a lunatic get out of my life!" It is well know that bizarre behavior increases during a full moon as does conception.

The young, rightfully, think they own "Love" because they're in love with love. This type of Friendship gone Wild will soon drop back (if your lucky) to deep friendship. If both parties work hard at continuing to be best friends they will be happy and contented, (not always "happy ha ha) but with a soft inner moonlight glowing happiness. Wild love when over is Wild friendship of sharing and doing nice things for each other and continues to deepen with reciprocal friendship. This happiness spreads out to family and community, it is not selfish or controlling, it is just sanity as opposed to lunacy.

But what if you're not young and you lose your "best friend" for whatever reason? Can you go crazy over someone again? No you cannot! You can go different crazy in love, because crazy human emotions are unique. Even if you were to marry the twin, he/she is a new special individual. Wild friendship is a growing, changing, and a life long developing state. You will rue the day when you try to change your new best friend into your old best friend.

But, where do you find NEW best friends if you are no longer young and are now single? You can still go out with your male/female friends on the odd occasion that they are going on a Boys/Girls night out. For awhile you can go to other couple's or your own dinner parties as a single, but you become the "Single threat" and soon this either becomes uncomfortable or another single is imported to the couples party and now you have a blind date that you do not want.

A great best friend of mine once told me, "Jack. You're better off to be alone, alone ~ then to be alone with someone." After I understood this wisdom of hers, I knew she had opened my eyes to relationships. I do not want to be alone with someone; I want to be together with some one. You must give and receive wild friendship as it mellows and matures. Wild friendship matures like a great Oak tree. It improves with age, has more branches, and gives a wider circle of shade.

When your best friend departs, you will have a period of grieving, but your life must go on. Your departed best friend would wish you to continue in life and would hope that you will find a new best friend. You can honor and treasure the old best friend's time with you, but for your health and contentment you most become active in a search for a new partner. Your friends' partners are off limits. Bars are dangerous. Churches and Grocery shopping are both possibilities. But there is a new way of looking (very carefully) - the PC!

We read many horror stories about Internet relationships. Are they true? Probably. Unless you do something stupid, however, there is a window of opportunity to meet someone at arms length and either say, "It's nice to meet you, but goodbye." or "Lets chat for awhile, get to know each other a bit then meet for coffee." It is exactly the same way we dealt with dating face to face in the 1950s, when I was young and on the prowl. I now have the advantage of a broad selection of potential friends, near, upcountry or offshore to chat with and graciously say farewell and good luck to or arrange to meet with.

You know that if a person puts in their Bio that they "like Bars and Casinos", there is danger lurking in the wings. If "I want a generous" shows up in the Bio, that may mean "meal ticket."

You heard all the words when you were dating, now you have time to read, filter and meet in a neutral place. Most of the people Posted are just like you, trying it for the first time. It is a service and cost $9.00 for the men and nothing for the women. That's close to the price of a Bar drink and you could be trying to hit on Carla Homolka, on Day Parole sitting next to you and using an assumed name. You can delete her on the Net.

My research on Dating Services suggests that one look, maybe contact, and meet carefully selected persons that seem to have been honest in their BIOS.

If you're having poor luck in meeting a new best friend, maybe you've been "Looking For Love in All the Wrong Places." Give the Net a try. There is maybe a New Best Friend some where on your Browser!

But remember neither Best Friend should try to remake a previous friendship. Start fresh!

"Great Wild Friendships" are based on doing big or small nice things for each other every chance you get

On line Dating Services may not be your best and only answer but they are generally cheap and user friendly. You must be honest and fair in your Bio too, if it is to work.

Jack C. Downey CD
Send comments to: Jack

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