Calgary Stampede Coming in July: Ride 'Em Cowboy!


With the annual Calgary Stampede close at hand, this is as good a time as any to take a look at what Hollywood has done to the folks they romanticized as "Cowboys."

Hollywood shows the Cowboy as a dashing young lad with a sweet, boyish grin and a shock of blond hair peeking out from under a $150 Stetson hat. He wears designer jeans, a silk neckerchief and an embroidered shirt. His boots, of the finest leather, sport sterling silver spurs.

Now that he looks like a blithering idiot, they hang two Colt pistols on him and enough ammunition to hold of the entire Apache nation for a year. They give him a silver saddle and a Winchester 44-40 rifle that never needs reloading and send him off to save Miss Nancy's Ranch from that rascal Slade and the Banker. They chuck in a few Arapahos or Mexicans; and back ground it in Monument Valley, New Mexico, where there is no grass. And, oh yes, Cowboy can sing to make the evenings around the camp fire a rather pleasant time before they roll up under the stars (and get a good case of rheumatism by dawn). Bacon, beans, coffee, and bread-rolls cook in about 2.5 minutes. Plus, no one ever washes the dishes! All this to the background music of "I'm Heading for My Last Round Up" or "Home On the Range."

If that's your getup, I assure you that you are on your last round up Cowboy. Let's do the math. Each pistol you wear weighs four to six pounds; the ammunition, another ten; the rifle, eight to ten; the saddle with silver, fifty pounds.; the lariat, three; the saddle bags with Miss Nancy's gold, 250, the silver bridle and martingale, twelve; and a couple of canteens of water plus beef jerky that you need on your chase after Slade, is minimum, seven pounds. That's about 350 pounds of bagage, and don't forget your bedding, boots, and the cast iron Dutch oven and coffee pot that appear mysteriously each evening.

You won't be taking "Old Paint" pard'! You'll take that Elephant out of the Remuda. Nothing less will be able to carry you, so git along heavy Cowboy.

Hollywood forgot a few small facts about Cowboys:

1. 30 % (at least) of them African Americans.
2. Most were very young, poor and illiterate.
3. They owned the clothes on their backs and, maybe, a very poor saddle.
4. They did not typically own their horses.
5. They wore any type of hat they found or stole.
6. They worked for almost nothing but room and board.
7. Cowboying was seasonal.
8. Huge ranches like the Bar U in Alberta, kept four to six hands on over the winter.
9. Cowboying was dull, hard, boring slave labour.
10. Only the most desperate girl would marry a Cowboy, and here's why, Hollywood.

Cowboys were not even called Cowboys! They were "Saddle Tramps", "Hired Hands", "Range Bums", "Rag Bags" and "Chuck Holes" (the latter by the Rancher's wife referring to the amount they ate). Our Cowboys could generally not afford a pistol. If they had one, it was often out of date and badly worn. Even Jimmy Simpson, a real "Cowboy" who established Num Tah Ja Lodge in Banff Park, carried a single shot, .50 calibre black powder cap and ball pistol all his life.

So Hollywood get it straight. You were close in the movies "Cullppeper Cattle Drive" and "Lonesome Dove", but you've a long way to go "Ole Hoss" till its "High Noon!"

Let me give you a picture of the Cowboy today to get you started down the right path.

First, the "Cow".

Large herds of cattle did not arrive on the Great Plains until the mid 1800s and very few large ranches of semi-wild (Range) cattle survive to this day. The early cattle were of inferior breeds by today's standards. There is a general type of Range cattle still raised today, that you buy from Australia, Argentina and a few other places as "Bully Beef"(Military), "Chipped Beef" (USA)" or Corned Beef" (Aus. & Argentina), ground up and in a can. Our bulls and other tough old cattle end up in cans and brine vats as well. High quality beef is labour-intensive and scientifically fed in relatively small herds.

In most places in Canada, cattle are moved onto public lands during the early summer months, where they range freely until early autumn. They are then rounded up and brought back to the Home Place to be fed and cared for during the winter months and spring calving season. Cattle will not paw through snow to get at grass. Horses, buffalo and wild animals will. Large amounts of hay are required to overwinter cattle. During the fall large numbers are sold off to "Feed Lots" where they are fed special diets (in some places hormones) to polish the animals prior to slaughter. The whole process is a very complex and has to be monitored for cost per pound or you just "sold the ranch."

Now lets look at the "Boy" (or "Girl").

Today, generally speaking, the Cowboys are the rancher's sons and daughters. The moving of cattle to the Public Range Land, and the Round Up is often done with Cattle liners (trucks) from and to the Home Place. Things become labour-intensive during the autumn Round Up. The ranching community and their relatives and friends will come together and gather the herds. There will be a few hired hands that are used for their expert skills in castration, de-horning or branding. Fewer and fewer horses are involved. Four wheeled Quads and light Helicopters are employed to flush the cattle out of the bush and down to the branding corrals and loading docks. Make no mistake. It is still hard dirty work, even for the "Quadboy."

Please do not "Hand Me down My Boots and Saddle!" I tried it once as a kid in the Okanogan, on a borrowed one eyed horse~~~~ never agin li'tle Darlin', but I'll see you at The Calgary Stampede, the largest outdoor show in the WORLD!

Signed; the Galloping Geezer

Jack C. Downey CD
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