"Photo Credit to Julie Ann Biggs out on the Mekong River, Cambodia Vietnam Border."

Jack Downey Comments on Canadian Issues to Inform and Amuse.

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11th Canadian Province...Sorry you're too late

There are 115,000 people on the British Island Colony in the Caribbean sitting on their suitcases, waiting to come to Canada. At just under 200 sq. miles, this chain of limestone islands is smaller than Canada's smallest province, PEI. The Brits and a multitude of Outlander Businesses control the local tourist economy, there is no industry, and no hope for very much further development. The only jobs for the descendants of African Slaves, who refer to them self as "Belongers", are menial, low paying service jobs, mostly for women in the foreign owned hotels. Very few of the "Belongers" would meet Canada's immigration criteria. I can find no record of Canadian exports to the islands nor of imports from them, so there would appear to be no economical advantage to adopting them.

(The Aqua Vitiate… water of life, pretty Colleens and nostalgia is part of Irish tradition and celebrated in songs and stories.)


More details at interknowledge.com

Still, Canada is a caring nation, so there must be some way we can help "Theses Islands in the Sun." I have come up with a few proven scenarios that, with a bit of effort, would make them rich beyond belief.

Let's deal with the legal ones first:

• A leader of 'the Belongers" gathers 25 or 30 trusted men and women and they take over the abandoned Salt Works, fence it off and put up guard towers. In the enclosure, they create a hive of random activity while all dressed in white laboratory smocks.. Six lengths of sewer pipe are welded together, with a beach umbrella as a nose cone. Some tail fins are added and the contraption put on a 45º angled ramp pointing at the USA. With old fishing nets and palm leaves camouflaging the pseudo ICBM, you now start a rumour that you have a weapon of mass destruction and the target is Miami Florida. You announce on CNN that you will not fire it if the USA makes England give the Belongers their Independence and Irish passports. With the USA threatened, the Brits will go along with the independence and Irish passports won't be a problem because Ireland is on an economic upswing and is importing labour from off shore anyway. Once they have agreed, change your mind and stage a bloodless, but seemingly rowdy, coup and install the Village Idiot as your President. The Americans and Brits love Village Idiots (having supported any number of them around the world as well as sent their own home grown idiots to sensitive diplomatic posts.) One of two things could now take place:
  • Either the USA would provide millions of dollars of Foreign Aid to your economy by building giant Cement plants to grind up your limestone. This would, within 10 years, reduce the islands to sea level and require the moving of the total population to North Carolina, where everyone could be on Social Assistance and participate in Computer training skill programs; until Ireland needs them to fill job vacancies in the peat boggs.
  • Or, after you've ensconced the Village Idiot as President, stir up some more trouble. Maybe have your Belonger Ambassadors rail at the UN and they'll give you more money to build a Whaling fleet to sail into the huge concentration of whales birthing in your area. This would get Greenpeace the Worlds Media attention. Perhaps accuse Canada of not accepting you as its 11th province over Nunavut, Yukon and North West Territories. Such a slight to the Islands is a diabolical plot, infringing on your Third World rights to join any country you want. Hold demonstrations demanding your Human Rights and threaten to invade Canada overland via the USA, as you have no airplanes. With Canada's military tied up in Peace Keeping worldwide, we would have no defense and your army would win for sure. You would not then be the 14th PROVINCE, you would be CANADA and have the best of both worlds. Pres. Bush would get Canadian oil and water, and reelected. The Brits would be rid of you, as there would be nothing left to exploit in another Colony. The best part is, you'd have your Irish passports too. Dissidents like me would be exiled to the islands to lie in the sun and never shovel snow again. You'd get a chance to practice shoveling snow in Canada so you're ready when Ireland calls for more Peat Cutters…. Why not it's worked before?
• If you want a simple cure, become Independent from Britain and you can have the UN, World Bank, and Canadian International Development Agency pour money and NGOs in to help you develop. You're perfect for Foreign Aid. India is the fifth richest country and still gets $USD 14 billion a year in aid from around the world.

Do not despair, little islands, you're holding all the good cards. If I were you I'd go the Independence - Foreign Aid route it's a darling! I speak from experience

© Jack C. Downey CD 2004

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