'Why You Cannot Afford to Die'

GST ON FUNERALS!

Some time ago, our government saw fit to change the rules so that the old adage "The only things you MUST do are pay taxes and die." needs to be amended to read "The only things you MUST do are pay taxes and die and pay more taxes." They have instituted what amounts to a GHOUL TAX, a tax on death. You and I can do something about this unfair Tax. First, let's chat about dying, then we’ll plan our attack on The Ghoul Tax.

Over the past few years, I have lost a wife, a mother, and two brothers to the Grim Reaper, so I speak from experience when I comment on the rules surrounding death in Canada.

On the passing of a loved one the heir(s) become the owner(s) of the cadaver and certain laws come into play. Some are for the public health and safety and must be strictly enforced. Others seem a bit weird. For example, one cannot scatter ashes over the mountains, sea, etc., except in designated areas. One cannot bury a body on one's own property. Donating remains to Medical Schools or making Organ Donations are loaded with special requirements.

Another interesting fact is that, although most people try to follow the wishes of the Deceased, any requests made by the Deceased become invalid at the instant of death, at which time the remains become the property of the heir(s) who may or may not dispose of them in any way they see fit.

The absolute finality of death must be considered. Wills and other bequeaths must be planned out now. Any funeral parlor will mail a free booklet, that you may follow to make your passing as painless as possible for your loved ones. With the ability of modern medicine to prolong life under the direst of circumstances, quality of life at the end also becomes a factor . A Living Will (as it is called in Alberta) is a set of instructions to Doctors and other care givers as to what level of medical intervention you want at the end. It's your call on the last hand in the game called "Your Life."

All that being said, we now come to The Ghoul Tax. Most people use a Funeral Parlor/Home to handle the arrangements for disposal of remains. These are businesses, make no mistake. Reputable ones will not try to stampede you, but they will allow you to be as extravagant as you want (and can you ever blow a pile of coin on a $40,000 dollar coffin, flowers, cars, plot, marker etc. - Leave instructions before you die, mine are "Cheap and Cheerful").

Once the survivors have made their choices for disposal, the bill is tallied and The Ghoul Tax applied. Yes, GST is applied and a deposit is required. Everything is optional except for the GST. It must be paid! In this country it happens that the elderly and terminally ill, who have a strange tendency to die, also largely tend to be on limited budgets, pensions, etc. These people can little afford an expensive funeral unless they happen to be part of the Mafia. Or on an MP pension!

I, therefore, propose that: any Funeral under $5,000.00 be GST (a.k.a. The Ghoul Tax) exempt; any funeral over $5000.00 and not more than $10,000.00 be charged GST, with exemption for the first $5,000,00; and any Funeral over $10,000.00 be charged full GST, without exemption.

How do we get this done? Easy!

If you expect to die at some time in the future, (a high probability), and have concerns about your tax money, then write your local MP and The Hon. Paul Martin, MP, Minister Of Finance, House of Parliament Ottawa ON, K1A0A1 (no stamp needed), include this editorial or one of your own and DEMAND a change in the Ghoul Tax.

You can also Email the Rt. Hon Prime Minister, MP pm@pm.gc.ca and forward this editorial with your comments. Pro or Con.

Mr. Preston Manning MP can be reached at prestonm@cadvision.com

Get your club to support this change and write or E-mail Ottawa, and their M.P.s local office. To bury "The Ghoul Tax", pour the letters and E-mails in, make them dig into their offices with a Backhoe.

Remind the politicians that they work for you! You're "the Boss". Later, you can lie back in your tax free coffin with a grin on your face!

PS: A little known fact is that every letter received by a Politician (and smart politicians know this) has a multiplying factor of 450 votes. This is because there are 449 other voters that are just as choked up on the subject but are too lazy or apathetic to write in (in the USA it’s a factor of 3000).

To forward this Editorial, or any other concern you have, E-mail, write or phone your MP and the Party Leader. You are then part of the Canadian Democratic process. All their E-mail and other addresses are here for you to use click here



Signed; the Galloping Geezer

Jack C. Downey CD
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