Newfie June - Goodbye to a Dear Friend

I am in a reflective mood tonight. A very dear friend of mine, for more than twenty years, is dying. She is only in her mid-fifties…not nearly long enough to have lived; but, long enough to have touched the lives of so many of us.

The problem is that this is so sudden. A few months ago she was on the ski slopes with her husband and her grown son and his young family. Right after Christmas, she started acting very forgetful…so much so that they took her to Emergency. A CT scan showed an aggressive and totally inoperable tumour in her mid-brain. Her prognosis is three to six months. After what we saw when we visited her today, I don't think she will even last that long.

Several things have struck me during the past few weeks…since we have "known" of her illness. First of all is the inevitable "unfairness" of it all. This is a compassionate woman, a nurse, who has dedicated her life to looking after others. Most nurses are compassionate people; it is what attracts them to the profession. This woman went beyond that. For example, her husband's work took them to Argentina for a couple of years. She didn't speak the language well enough to actively nurse there but she went, instead, to volunteer in a clinic in downtown Buenos Aires that worked with unwed mothers.

When they moved to Houston, she volunteered to work with cancer survivors, giving emotional counseling and support. The irony of it all has not been lost on any of us.

Then I think that we were blessed to have gotten to know this special woman at all. Her kindness and compassion attracted people to her naturally. I like to say that she collected hearts on her journey through life. Mine was certainly one of them.

The sad thing for all of us is that this tumour has taken away her memories. Really, that's what our life is all about. We all want to see her, not just to say our goodbyes, but to let her know how very much she has meant to us over the years. Each of her close friends has special memories of Helenka; of giggles shared while shopping, of shared concerns over the escapades of our children as they grew, of times when we had to comfort each other during the great times of loss in our lives. As I hugged her and whispered my thanks to her tonight, I knew she could not grasp what I was saying. I certainly hope the great love and admiration that I feel for that woman was somehow transmitted.

We all say goodbye to friends and loved ones as we go through life. It's never easy but with some folks it is more than difficult, the emotional burden causes you physical pain.

I am writing this tribute to my dear friend, not so much for my own benefit, but I somehow want to share how special this lady is. She has three little grand-daughters who are too young to remember her but will need such stories to pass on the legacy of the essence of their grandmother.

Maybe this will prompt you to commit some fond memories to paper. That's how we live on, in the hearts, minds and stories of those whom we touch.

So, hug your loved ones tonight and whisper your thanks for small blessings.

God Bless and take care,

Cheers,

© Newfie June




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