Newfie June - My Uncle Ralph

My Uncle Ralph recently died. No, he wasn't my only uncle, but he was the last. My mother was from a family of nine children and my father was from a family of four. They have now all gone. That seems so final, like a family milestone has been passed. I am now, officially, in the "next" generation. That's a sobering thought!

The thing that stands out in my mind the most, when I think of my Uncle Ralph, is the love story of his meeting his future wife, Mary. My mother was not a very romantic sort but her eyes sure twinkled when she told that story.

My mother's two older brothers had gone to find work in the automotive industry, or its spin-off jobs, in Detroit. The oldest brother, Bill, had married a "Yank" and one summer they traveled to Newfoundland for his wife to meet the family. Her niece, who was quite close to her, went along for a trip. When the train arrived in the station, my Uncle Ralph was there to meet them. He recounted that he had held out his hand for Mary to grasp as she alighted from the train and as soon as their hands touched…he knew. They both knew. I don't know much else about their courtship, but I do know that they married and moved to Detroit as well. v Some six children (and 25 years later) he was ready to come back home (as the Rock is referred to by all ex-pat Newfies), for a reunion. He could not come before as it was too expensive with the size of family he had and no one had the room to accommodate all eight of them.

Well, my dear mother decided that our old summer house (the old homestead we had inherited from my father's father) should just be able to squeeze everyone in. It just needed a "little work". There were four bedrooms upstairs (although one of them was not much bigger than a closet). She was determined to make it work.

Mother worked furiously over a period of four months to get the house spic and span for the big visit. She painted every wall and laid new vinyl on the floors, even though they were ends of rolls and no two rooms matched. She scrubbed, waxed and polished until the place shone. Unfortunately, just three weeks before the entourage arrived, she fell from a ladder while trying to paint the wall at the top of the stair well. My father was at work at the time and I was out playing for most of the afternoon. I came home to find that she had crawled to the couch and there she remained. It's a wonder she didn't break her back in the fall. What she did do was to jar a stone that was lodged in one of her kidneys. The stone had probably been there for years but the jolt had moved it and its staghorn protrusions tore at the kidney. She developed a terrible infection over the next few days and we almost lost her. The urologist wanted to operate and remove the affected part of her kidney immediately but she would not hear of it. Not until after her younger brother had had his holiday at home. She was determined and would not be swayed. The doctors got her infection under control and prayed that she would hang on.

So Uncle Ralph, Aunt Mary and all six children arrived. What a visit they all had! Gosh, we were packed in like sardines in a can, in that old house. Mom had placed Uncle Ralph and Aunt Mary in the big bedroom, with a little bed at the end of the room where their little guy (he was only three at the time) and the youngest girl slept. The other two boys slept in a second bedroom. My Mom and Dad had the third bedroom and in the fourth were the older two girl cousins in a double bed and me in a single. That room was so small there was no room for anything else besides the two beds. It was hilarious. The oldest girl was sixteen and into makeup. There was no dresser in the room so she lined up all of her makeup and toiletries on the floor under the bed. I had never seen so much "stuff" before. She was appalled as there was no bathroom, just an outhouse out behind the barn. I don't know what the rest of my metropolitan cousins thought but I thought it was a great adventure. Uncle Ralph was happier than a pig in a mud bath to be "back on the rock". It turned out to be one of the coldest and rainiest summers we had had in years, but Uncle Ralph didn't care. I remember one morning he took his mug of coffee and stood outside at the corner of the house and gazed at the beautiful view of the harbour that spread before him. It was such a cold morning that you could see his breath and he had pulled on my Dad's old parka to keep warm. When my mother realized where he had gone she went to the door and called to him to come back inside before he froze to death. He told her there was no more beautiful view in the world than was he was looking at and he was going to enjoy every moment of it while he could. That was the first time I realized that we were actually very lucky to live in such a beautiful place as Newfoundland. I had thought it would be so amazing to live in Detroit. Uncle Ralph made sure we knew better!

As for my mother, she was admitted to hospital the day after Uncle Ralph and family flew back to the U.S. She had part of the affected kidney removed, but developed pneumonia and, again, we almost lost her. It took several months, but she finally did recover.

Uncle Ralph and Aunt Mary came home one more time after that summer, with only four kids that time, as the older two were grown enough to stay behind. I'm sure the oldest girl was only too happy to be left behind in Detroit, where there were proper bathrooms!

Almost every night on each of their visits our old house was packed with relatives and friends coming to pay a visit. I will never forget the old Newfie songs being sung in that old kitchen. One night there were no fewer that thirty people in the house. The strains of "The Star of Logy Bay" and "The Squid Jiggin' Grounds" vibrated the rafters. There were big "scoffs" of corned beef and cabbage cooked up and many bottles of Screech drunk. I have nothing but fond memories of those times.

I hope that in heaven my Uncle Ralph knows contentment and peace such as he experienced on those visits home. God Bless him, he deserves it.

© Newfie June




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