Newfie June - A Tribute to my Brother

I come from a large Newfie family. I have three older brothers, three older sisters and one younger brother. My Mother gave birth to the first six children over the period of ten years. There was an eight year gap before I arrived on the scene, so you can imagine that this lent itself to some different family dynamics. My oldest brother was finished high school and had joined the Air Force by the time I was born. He moved away when I was one month old and I didn't really get to know him, until well into my adulthood. The next two boys in line were thirteen and fourteen years old when I was born; so they were not at home for much longer either. I remember family life with them, but only vaguely. They too joined the Canadian Armed Forces and left the province as soon as they were old enough.

The "middle" brother of the three, was, and still is, a far-sighted and determined man. He quickly realized that life was not going to give him what he wanted from it; but that he had to work for it, so, when I was seven years old, he moved back home and went back to school. He wanted to go to university and, to do this, he (at the age of twenty one) had to go back to high school for a year to meet college entrance standards. There were no adult education classes then and my poor brother actually had to attend high school with the sixteen and seventeen year olds. I can only imagine how difficult that must have been; but he grasped it as an opportunity and I never once heard him complain.

You can imagine, though, how family life changed for me. I really didn't know this guy well and his was a presence that could not be ignored. He took great brotherly joy in teasing the heck out of me. 'Remember the song, "She Wore Blue Velvet"? My brother would lift the hem of my school tunic to see what colour my underwear was each morning and then sing "She Wore ______ Drawers…sha-la-la-la" (inserting the appropriate colour, of course). I would promptly take a fit of crying and wail to my mother about how mean my brother was. He loved it!

My brother also loved to tease me and hide the cake or cookies that Mom always had around. He'd tell me that he had gotten hungry and had eaten them all, without leaving any for me. What an incorrigible tease, I tell you!

This brother of mine, though, also had the biggest positive impact on my life. Right after a meal he would nudge me and say, "Okay, let's go brush our teeth." He'd stand at one side of the sink and I at the other and we'd brush our teeth together. He would make sure I was brushing properly and that I never forgot the chore. Most parents take this responsibility now, but when I was young, dental care was not what it is today, especially in a lower middle class family.

I now had a live-in mentor who would take the opportunity, over the supper table, to ask me what the definition of some "big word" was. If I didn't know (and I usually didn't) he would tell me and use it in a sentence so that I could understand its connotation. He also would never let me use a word I could not spell. He told me that people make themselves look like idiots when they try to use "big words" when they have no idea of their meaning or spelling. "If you say it, you should know what it means and be able to spell it"…that was the motto. What good advice, don't you think?

Then my brother met a girl and fell in love. I saw him treat her and speak of her in wonderful ways. It showed me what I should expect of my own suitors in the future. I had not, to that point, been exposed to the wonders of romantic love. My parents were typical of their time. I only ever saw them kiss each other on Christmas mornings and they never went on dates or did anything romantic. I am sure I used a yardstick, based on my brother's treatment of his girlfriend, to measure the boyfriends I dated in later years.

Between all the teasing and usual minor squabbles, there formed a close brother-sister bond (probably more a case of hero worship, actually). I got to know my sibling like I never had before and I thank God that I did. I don't think he had any idea of the positive influence he had on my young formative years. I have also turned to him in times of trouble in my adult life for the guidance I knew he would provide. I have watched him raise his own son and, to no surprise for me, show himself to be a wonderful, caring father.

My brother filled in all the gaps in the parenting skills of our Mom and Dad. Now that our parents are dead, there is no doubt that he has taken over the paternal role for me and my siblings. Again, you never hear a word of complaint, even though I'm sure his own life is more than full at times and he doesn't need extra worry.

So, consider this article a reflection on my childhood and a tribute to my brother. For those of you who are curious, he did complete his Bachelor of Arts degree and went on to obtain a Bachelor of Education and a Law Degree. He has been admitted to the Bar in both the Province of Ontario and Newfoundland. He is still married (for more than thirty years now) to that young girl he fell in love with. Their son is a wonderful young man now, a tribute to his parents. My brother is the Godfather for both of my girls and a close friend and confidant to my own dear husband. Most importantly, he is still a dear brother to all of us in the family and we love him for it.

For all of you out there raising boys and girls who squabble and fight, take heart; they may just turn out to be the best of friends.



© Newfie June




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