Growing up Canadian While Living Abroad by Geraldine Mac Donald-Moran

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Bi-cultural Parenting- Part One When individuals with dissimilar cultural backgrounds unite, they represent a group of parents whose concerns are unique but who share a common denominator in their respective bi-cultural homes: The special challenges encountered in accepting change.

The need to alter expectations, traditions, culinary customs, languages, and perhaps religion (to name a few) may be just some of the adjustments necessary in the fascinating circumstances found in bi-cultural homes.

'Bi-cultural' parenting is a term that can be used to describe the fusing of two differing sets of customs in a home environment where children are being raised.

In today's global village, societies are less homogenous and more often a multicultural mix of people. Since, more young professionals are now traveling the world or are frequently exposed to other cultures, the chance to meet and unify with someone from a different background is becoming standard or commonplace.

Although the task of fostering an agreeable parenting atmosphere can be challenging despite cultural differences, trouble can build up depending on the quantity and quality of differences perceived and whether or not they clash.

We, as parents, are not immune to a culturally biased approach to parenting and the varying degrees of stress, and reward, that this can cause; but rather we are vulnerable to wanting continuity through a desire to raise children with the sets of learned customs and values that we consider normal.

Conflict may arise when one parent considers their ways normal but does not consider their partner's ways acceptable. Feeling that your partner's customs are strange, impractical or even discomforting, is generally a good measure of conflict potential that you may use to gauge responses to your partner's parenting style, and needs, while weighing and reflecting on your own.

Festive or Religious holidays often set the pattern by which you will celebrate special traditions and perhaps daily life; and although accepting your partner's way of life can be a tough journey, it is important and worthwhile since the wellbeing of your children is at stake.

Indisputably, children who are raised in bi-cultural home environments have advantages that provide them with broad-spectrum life experiences. Presented with dual language learning, unique and varied family customs, interesting and atypical traditions; diversification and extension of the nuclear family unit that gives them the opportunity to know each culture more profoundly, and exposure to the gamut of bi-cultural stimuli that goes beyond the common.

Still, beware of the difficulties involved in the integration of two sets of beliefs, values, philosophies and traditions prior to parental unification.

High expectations may go hand-in-hand with this stimulating environment, when each parent anticipates that their children will act, think, and behave in customary or acceptable ways: ways they learned as children when socialized in their respective cultures or backgrounds but that are not necessarily congruent with those of their partner.

Sharing these different sets of ideas, beliefs, and customs may not be sufficient but compromising on them can provide families with real solutions.

The amalgamation or blending of two cultures provides children with the advantages that they have inherited from both worlds and generates a healthy, tolerant and welcoming attitude: Formulates a 'bi-cultural parenting and family union' through sharing, rather than rejecting differences.

Plan for the dissolution of individual traditions and make room for the combination of new experiences. Bring Religious tendencies and festivities together and embrace the belief systems that formulate each. Celebrate pluri-cultural holidays and be open to other, foreign traditions. Keep a sense of humour while maintaining cultural self-identity in order to pass heritage to your children, in what is to become their compound, unique blend of customs.

Their way of life will not be yours, but you will share with them in creating something unique and wonderful that embraces the traditions each parent has upheld and enjoyed the most.

Lengthy, profound conversation prior to undertaking the role of parent could facilitate the avoidance of conflict but not exclude its occurrence. Uncover the best of both worlds and discover the balance that will allow you all, together, to enjoy benefits and reap rewards in your family life. Commence with a simplified, pleasurable mix of traditions that reflects the heritage of both parents yet offers your children the cumulative effect of harmony, day-by-day, at home.

Learn and speak both native languages, partake of foods and the customs associated with eating that are particular to each of the cultures involved, dress according to customary laws while respecting your individual creativity; welcome friends and family from both backgrounds into your homes and hearts, cross those cultural barriers and respect your partner's differences (especially if those differences are what attracted you in the first place).

A bi-cultural home environment can be life altering but so is parenting and both, cooperatively, can be celebrated to enhance the experience! The merger of two worlds will naturally enrich the one you share!

© Geraldine Mac Donald-Moran


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