Growing up Canadian While Living Abroad by Geraldine Mac Donald-Moran

Previous Geraldine's Stories click here

The International day of Friendship and Love- February 14th:

Universally, there are anticipated mannerisms or gestures that are appropriate for distinct social circumstances, specific to each culture. The practice of showing affection for one's friends and family members, for example, varies among cultures and between people.

When we travel or live abroad for any length of time, it makes us aware of those subtle and obvious differences that exist between Canada and other societal milieu.

Our ways to greet, acknowledge or address friends, family members and even passers by, can indicate great idiosyncratic facts about our culture as well as our person: A warm hello or handshake, a brief and hurried wave or the absence of a formal greeting altogether, may indicate insightful differences and provide us with evidence for purposeful reflection.

Let's take a closer look at how we perform in this arena and evaluate some of our learned gestures and habits: analyze man in our society.

Canadians, in smaller towns and cities, commonly smile at or salute you whether they know you or not. If you have an established friendship you'll likely get a handshake, a pat on the back or a light hug. It is not common to kiss cheeks but family members will often give a peck on the mouth along with the hug; and most times it will depend on the grade of closeness or the depth of social ties you have with the individual(s) in question.

Unfortunately, in larger commercial and metropolitan centers the lack of personal greeting is evident: Social manners can get lost in the sea of anonymity.

In a number of places, the stranger's kiss can be discerning and awkward although meant as a sign of welcome. Shake with the left hand not the right and if you are female, don't look a male in the eyes can be gentle counsel for the foreign visitor; even when these subtleties are generally not published in your travel guides.

On the other hand, the occurrence of that unexpected kiss can be just as discomforting as its absence when socially anticipated and places exist where the lack of eye contact may be considered rude.

Social conduct has its consequences, no matter where you live but these are, arguably for some, learned responses: we are the result of a cultivated social development. So the child, raised by foreign parents on unfamiliar terrain, may be subject to harsh judgment if not socialized according the written and unwritten rules of their host culture.

Canadians, on international turf, may innocently give their kids a peck on the mouth in public, smile and salute passers by (regardless of their gender) or innocently neglect to address others in the familiar or acceptable, local social manner. Children of Canadians, who live abroad, will naturally adapt to their environment; hopefully, this will also entail an instinctive ability to respect the predisposition of other cultures and be respected for their own unique, cultural and personal characteristics.

Are we really as affectionate and gracious as other cultures would perceive? Is it an indiscriminate societal trait or does it all depend on our personal, rather than cultural, dispositions? How are we affected by our ethnicity or heritage? What effect does our temperament have on the way we see each other and the way we treat one another in social settings? The age-old question of whether we actively nurture our children in these mannerisms, or whether they naturally occur, is one that may have us baffled until we live elsewhere in the world and begin to comprehend that every culture has unique customs; ways that will determine how you will show your friends and loved ones that they are special to you and that you care about them.

In Latin America, for example, the fourteenth day of February is a day to celebrate not only romantic love but friendship as well. Traditions range around a central theme of love, yes, but multi-faceted love.

How will you demonstrate your love for friends, family or a special person? Beyond the day, how will you address your fellow neighbours, schoolmates, colleagues, townsfolk and countrymen? Will your motions speak volumes to welcome and respect others today and in the days to follow?

© Geraldine Mac Donald-Moran


Send comments to Gerry -

If you have any ideas how to make our country better - Send your comments to: Canadian Ideas
Thanks for your help
best regards
www.CanadianCulture.com

Get Involved!
Your Ideas are Important!
Content is contributed by various Canadians and does not necessarily reflect the views of canadianculture.com.