Take 533 West

Where are we going so fast that we cannot see the great beauty of our side roads and country towns? What is in Vancouver that isn't in West Edmonton Mall? Why is bigger better? Do the people who live in these Mega cities have time to see all the clutter they are surrounded by, I think not? Where do the megacityers go on their weekends? To the country towns and byways, yes! Where do those city folks retire? Up Island or north of Barrie, somewhere away from the teaming anthills of modern slavery. Where do the country folks go on the weekend? "Right on" and "left off"", "THE CITY." The ladies get their hair permed. Country boys in suits descend on the cities with eyes agog, while the city folks that are so cool are sitting around in the small town bars listening to the locals "sing them back home." The city ladies have no perms; the men are in jeans, drinking beer from a bottle in a country bar. City folks going country. Country folks going city.

If you're going to Vancouver from Calgary via the Trans-Canada it is about 12 hrs hard driving. You and your family are exhausted on arrival and the scenery is a blur except for the two pit stops. You can save two hours if you take the Coquihalla highway and be in Vancouver exhausted two hours earlier, but will still have seen nothing but a blur of high mountain meadows as you strove to get in on time and be part of the rush hour traffic. If you time it right, you can flail around with the city folks rushing out of their beastly piles of concrete and working up their Road Rage to a fever pitch.

Men seem to have a "record setting desire" buried deep in their gas pedal foot. I think it is handed down as part of the male bonding. Think about it, a family traveling somewhere. Father driving, mother navigator, son and daughter in the back. Twelve miles down the road, boy says to father "are we there yet Dad?" The answer is negative. Twelve and one half miles down the road, girl asks "did you turn off the stove Mum?" No one can remember, U turn back to the house. If the stove is off, there is extreme tension between mother and father, BUT if the stove was left on, the girl is a heroine for life and mother will never be trusted again! Strike off again. twelve miles down the road boy says to father "Are we there yet Dad?" The male bonding is coming loose. Fifteen miles down the road there comes from someone " I've got to go!"

Do I have to go through the "He touched me!", "She's looking at me!", "I'm hungry!", "Are we there yet?" Anyone with kids and a car has been part of this family plan of "I am going to ruin your day because I wanted to stay home and play soccer and not go to see Gramma and Grampa." Some where in the Bible it says "Suffer the little Children to come unto Me." Keep in mind that there were no automobiles then. You could put the kids in large baskets slung across a camel at the back of the caravan and never hear from them till you got to Antiocke. Those were the days when you were allowed to stake your kids out on an anthill with honey on their head. Have you ever noticed that the Ten Commandments do not include "Thou shalt not bug your folks while they're driving?"

There seems to be a sensible road numbering system that guides us through our wanderings. I have found that there is a really easy way to travel with a family. It is educational very economical and fun. If you're in a rush, and not interested in our wonderful Canadian people and spectacular scenery, then you go your way and I'll go mine. Here is my system. Highway 1 or the Trans Canada is usually four driving lanes with paved shoulders. It runs east to west from Sea to Sea. It is OK if you are in a rush, but on a holiday forget it. Number 2 highway runs north and south through a province. In Alberta it is four lanes with paved shoulders. Again, it is meant for high speeds and direct access (boring). Avoid these two highways where and when possible. Stretch out and go at least the 1As or 2As that take you through the little towns and villages. Double digit road numbers are even more fun. One, up near Wetaskwin Alberta, the provinces shortest highway, goes over "Boot Hill." For a long distance on the gradient up and down, every fence post has an old boot nailed to it, sole up. This is a very amusing local tradition. Down by the Bar U Ranch several miles of Ball Caps decorate the fence posts 'tis quite a sight to see and none have ever been stolen.

Here is a rule that is known to few but Tourist Site access planners. "A tourist pulling a trailer or driving a motor home will not visit any site, including the Crucifixion with the original cast, if it is more than 13.5 miles from the main highway!" The next piece of factual knowledge you now need is from Napoleon, the great French General. "Time spent in reconnaissance is seldom wasted!" A map reconnaissance is a simple plan to get you to the places you want to see that are not tourist traps with high prices and still be on speaking terms with your navigator. These places are off the main roads and are where people are proud of their heritage and welcome stangers. These small town places have Bed and Breakfasts and home/farm markets and some of the buildings from the turn of the century are usually still in use. If you stop in Pincher Creek, Alberta, you can buy Ostrich eggs and ostrich meat. There is a fishpond for Elders where you can catch and keep two trout a day if you're over 60 and no license is needed. You're within a few miles of "The Head Smashed In Buffalo Jump and the massive Frank Slide" to name but a few sites along this Crows Nest Pass route, which is worth your holiday time to stop and visit the many little towns along it's route.

There are hundreds of little towns across Canada worth visiting. Was it the trucking companies who decided where all the major roads should or should not go? I offer but one small example and every one of you can tell me about a great drive around your town that I should see. Why not go to Gibson's Landing or Come Bye Chance? Pia Pot Saskatchewan was good enough for Buffy St. Marie. How about a visit to the church at St. Louis de Ha Ha on the Quebec-New Brunswick Border? Let's try one close to here.

My pal Griff and I like to strike off at 9:30 and be back by 3:45 on the days that he is allowed out to play. The major road south out of Calgary is Highway No. 2 South. Griff is navigator and steers me south through the mass of traffic that is loaded down with threatening "go ons" and "go offs", pass over and pass unders which leave me in a cold sweat with white knuckles until we leave the built up areas behind. During this challenging part of the drive, Griff has never once said, "are we there yet?" Constant attention is paid to cars, trucks and buses streaming south. Across a big grass divider, other machines are streaming north. I have a Sunroof so Griff can watch out for any small airplanes landing or taking off in our lane. His RCAF training serves us well. About thirty kilometers south of Calgary, we pull into the little town of Nanton. Nanton was lucky to have the north bound lanes of the highway built on the original lane of the wagon road that ran parallel to the railway. The Southbound lanes were the expansion about eight blocks west when Alberta decided to build "good roads everywhere" with its oil revenues.

Stop and park the car. If you walk to the northbound lane, you can see three REAL grain elevators. There are few left of these Prairie icons. There is a Lancaster Bomber Museum. There is a twelve room 1908 hotel where you can get a good room for $25.00 single a night, $35.00 double. You will be expected to cut your toenails to protect the sheets. Up until ten years ago you had to be up by seven as the sheets were needed for table cloths for 8 AM breakfast. Plastic table covers now allow for a sleep in during the week but Sunday brunch requires the sheets for elegant table covers. The hotel includes a Bar, Liquor Store and Restaurant. Rooms should be reserved in advance. These small town hotels were built by pressure of our Puritan forefathers to provide suitable accommodation for visiting strangers. The rules made sense. If you wanted a beer license you had to have rooms, in fact a minimum of twelve rooms was the requirement. Why twelve? The only reason I can think of is one room each for the twelve apostles. The eatery could be leased out, usually to a Chinese family who also got the laundry contract as a bonus. The booze shop was a government monopoly until lately. The Rail Station guarded the eastern flank while the fuel dumps, grain elevators, Draymen etc. stretched up and down the other side of the tracks. The Bank Commanded the North Corner and main stores ran north from the bank. These brick edifices were usually two stories high and often had rooms or suites to rent up stairs. Today the Bank is still on the corner but the stores on the trackside of town are Antique Stores and bars. A country one-room school has been moved into the town center as an information center. What in every early town was called Main Street ran 90 degrees from the station and divided the Bank and Hotel. In Nanton, the Bank and Hotel have stood the tests of time, Booze and Money. Up Main Street are more restaurants, Collectable stores, and a Decorative Blacksmith art gallery. There's a Real Meat (only) store where you can buy sausage made with no filler! There are benches to sit on and any one that comes along has time to pass the day and offer directions for good fishing or where you may find Indian arrowheads lying about. If you cannot spend a relaxing half-day mooching around in a town like Nanton you're a pretty sad tourist and should sell your RV and stay home. No one will pressure you, they know they have a nice little bit of our history and will share it with you at no charge. If you attend church on a Sunday do not be surprised if you're invited out for dinner. Country folk the world over know the Bible's admonition "Welcome strangers into your home, you may be entertaing an angel!"

At the south end of Nanton is a road sign 533 West. If you've had lunch, gather up the clan and head west on 533. It is paved and runs across prairie to the foothills and over to the Livingston Valley. You will see huge vistas that are breathtaking. You can see the past shorelines of the gigantic lakes that existed from the time of the dinosaurs. Any rockhound will get twitchy and start foaming at the mouth. Somewhere back in here is the Lost Lemon Gold Mine. This is cattle country and from the days before the white man, Indian and buffalo country. As you reach the top of the ridge, you drive through a hallow of Lodge Pole Pine (Alberta's Official tree, Wild Rose, our flower, and you may see a Great Horned Owl or "Sihpishto" our provincial bird.) Dropping down to the west will bring you to the Chain lakes and Highway 22X, which can take you back up country to many grand places of historical interest. Or Camping sites like Indian Graves may be your evening stopping place. No matter where you stop back here you'll find friendly people that will encourage you to stay away from any town over 6,424 people or that is built on a four or more lane highway.

If you want to see the Trans Canada in a blur and study the people and Canadian bugs. You and your lady need to saddle up a big Motorcycle and leave from Victoria and head for Newfie John. On a bike, you will be made welcome. People will chat you up and advise you of great local places to go. Most people riding bikes are good folks. Riding a bike puts you in touch with the elements and you become part of the environment you pass through. Your wind screen or helmet visor will introduce you to a lot of bugs you have not met before, but your perspective of Canada and mine will be different. As the bug said just after hitting the visor "If I had the guts I'd do that again." When Griff returns from SE Asia we'll give 533 East a shot. Who knows what towns there are between Nanton and Medicine Hat! If we have the guts we'll break out again!

Jack C. Downey CD
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