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The Galloping Geezer

Jack Downey Comments on Canadian Issues

Jack Downey ~ The Galloping Geezer
Photo by Julie Ann Biggs

Jailbirds, Waterheads, Nutbars and Razorwire


Timothy McVeigh is dead, but what about the Jailbirds, Waterheads and Nutbars behind our Canadian Razorwire? Care, Control and Custody are the basics of Canada's jail system.


Criminal offenders are often from the lower end of the economic scale. Eighty three percent have serious mental and behavioral problems. Our criminal justice system has a scandalous eighty percent recidivism, or re-offender rate. The average IQ level of the inmate is below the norm, they have low social and reading skills, a large number are functionally illiterate and 10 to 15 percent are totally illiterate. Many suffer from the "ME FIRST" syndrome.

We all know "Me First" syndrome people. Most, but not all, are men. It's they same ratio in a big office as in the prisons. They're the ones who draw a cup of coffee, leave a skin over the dregs and claim there is coffee for the next person who comes along. They're the ones who ignore a piece of paper on the floor and just step over it. They drive rudely, park rudely, act rudely and self-centered and then wonder why the team is not productive. Many are wife/husband/child abusers. "Me First" is criminal behavior right from the Coffee Station to murder.

Reading an Adult's Criminal Record, the pattern is clear. From about 12 years old there will be six to ten Police charges for which the sentence was "Probation." The sentence to a Young Offender unit is called "Juvie Time." To inmates this is the bottom end of "doing time" ("Play School"). After waltzing through the Young Offenders act, our male/female inmate graduates to the Provincial two-years-less-a-day sentencing. With a little luck, he/she next hits the big time Federal Penitentiary (Pen Time). This is a Master's degree. Murder gets you a Ph.D. If a Pen time person gets out, re-offends and only gets "Provie" time, that makes them the Cock of the Walk and even the Provincial guards are heard to say "yah he's a Pen man." Long term prison employees see the inmates from youth throught adulthood and they watch as their teeth rot and their hair falls out as they grow old and withered by the time they.re 45. The Inmate doesn't understand until too late that "when you spend time, you do not get any change back." The prison worker sees the inmate as loyal customer in a growth industry.

Some of the prison employees are rather weird in themselves. In Alberta, the minimum educational level for a prison guard is Grade 10. Many are retired military personnel who are totally unsuited for the job. Most are there to supplement pensions and want the money and many days off perks. The non-military can be hired even if they have a criminal record. It can be hard to tell the difference between the Keepers and the Kept. Both sides have serious "Me First" problems. Make no mistake about it, prison is a brutal and soul-destroying system. The Mangers and the union (not all) are often totally out of touch and would have difficulty managing a two-hole outhouse.

When the Provincial system grew it's own vegetables, ran a dairy etc., it cost three dollars a day to keep an Inmate. All this, with few exceptions, was sold off or leased out to private industry. It now costs +$40,000 a year per inmate according to Prison public releases. The 40K is not true! When you factor in Police time, Court time and Insurance costs for materials stolen or damaged in the course of the crime, you're looking at an average of $160 K to $180 K per year per inmate! This does not include any compensation for the victims' pain, time and grief. Often the victim will suffer and need counselling for years. That is a criminal behavior cost.

To address the growing disfunction of our penal system will take an Ironed willed person. They will need to start at the top, ruthlessly firing incompetent managers. After the first 30% are gone, the rest will get the message. Persons with criminal records must not be hired as Jailers. Prison employees need to be given physiological tests, at least every two years, to note changes in attitudes. Theft or excessive force or any other criminal behaviour should be grounds for immediate dismissal with no chance for rehire. Study and testing procedures should be instituted for promotion. Standard Operating Procedures need to be written and followed to the letter. A non-confrontational task force should be formed, together with the Union, to work out a system beneficial to all stakeholders, including the taxpayer. These are only starting points.

There are prisons with in prisons. The INFORMER (Rat) is beat on or killed by the other inmates. The Sexual Offender (Skinner) is going to get beaten or even killed by other offenders. These two categories are housed in a Protective Custody unit. If you have been in PC and later return to jail for some other offense, you'd better request PC housing, because someone will remember that you were PC in the past. Then it's open season on you. The strange thing about this is that ALL prisoners inform to get weekend passes etc. Information is the coin of the realm in a jail. PC can also be used as a threat by staff, "tell me what I want to know or I'll have you moved to PC." Most prisoners have committed deviant acts, date rapes etc., but were never caught and charged. To be 'Macho' you have to hate the ones who were caught. Rape and deviant behavior in prison is considered acceptable.

A simple, effective, but impossible cure for the habitual offender could be: three times in the Slammer means off to Ellesmeer Island, building a road to Nowhere; the first time into Ellsmere 5 years; next time 10 years; next - life. For sexual offenders like Bernardo, Olsen and Hollmokka, life on Wrangle Island (Arctic Island rented from the Russians). There they would dig their own hole 25' deep, be lowered in with a rope, and be fed through a chute in the iron grill welded over the hole. They are not fit be on Canadian soil! I am sorry that you may think me a Bleeding Heart, but this money being wasted on criminals would be better spent on Health Care, Students, the Elderly, or simply burnt.

In Alberta (and it is higher in Saskatchewan, Ontario and Manitoba due to population demographics), First Nations Canadians are 1% of our population, yet make up 23% of our prison population. This is an area, of great concern to us all, that I will save for another article.

Many prisoners draw Welfare, and other benefits that are illegal, while in Prison. I guess our Prison and Government administrators have yet to hear of Computers?

Nutbars - Guards name for Inmates.
Waterhead - Absolute worst insult to be called.
Razorwire - Type of bladed Barbed Wire.

What is your position on Capital Punishment? See Poll and vote.

Signed; the Galloping Geezer
Jack C. Downey CD
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