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The Galloping Geezer
Jack Downey ~ The Galloping Geezer

"Photo Credit to Julie Ann Biggs out on the Mekong River, Cambodia Vietnam Border."

Jack Downey Comments on Canadian Issues to Inform and Amuse.



Be my Valentine
Life with out Love is a Life with out Feeling.





The romantics of the world say, in one form or another, "It is better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all." Is romantic love an inherent or a learned emotion?

Human emotions seem to be a learned process. For example, a child needs to touch fire only once to have the fear of being burnt implanted. Fear of heights can be overcome. Children learn to love. Irrational fears of the phobia type trigger panic and disorder in one's life. Anger can be controlled or be destructive. Abuse of narcotics or alcohols, overeating and other damaging activities are triggered by emotions and can destroy the very health of the afflicted person. These might be classified as emotional diseases.

We are told by the romantics that "Love Conquers All." I think the question "What is love?" belongs in the same category as "Did Adam have a belly button?" or "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there, is there any sound?" or the Native American question, "If some one farts at night in a Tepee and every one is sleeping, does it smell?" We are aware that there is an emotion we cannot explain and we call it love and it can be constructive or destructive.

Perhaps some history will help. Much of our culture comes from the ancient Greeks and Romans. They lived in the civilized Mediterranean basin and used celestial life to bring some form of order out of chaos. Keep in mind, that this ancient world was dominated by men and that women had very little power.

Enter the Love Heroine! This small dissertation will give you a new insight into our Juno gal, quite a lady.

William Smith, D.C.L., LL.D.:
A Dictionary of Greek and Roman Antiquities, John Murray, London, 1875.


Now we need a Love Hero
The above Brit site gives us two heroes. Others try to fob off a third hero on us Canadians.

Now that you know the performers, what's the plot?
Here is how the Geezer sees this Romantic love "Valentines Day Play" going down.
  • Today I visited a "Love Store" where the manageress told me that Christmas and Valentine's Day are the best sale periods of the year. My research of Roman Customs had brought to light the tradition that 'if a man gave a girl a garment and she kept it they would marry.' All the garments I saw in the "love" store would have been returned except in Winnipeg where they have mosquito problems. The thermal value of love garments is pretty close to zero. If you're looking for a wife in Canada, you'll need to get a good down parka and a bottle of OFF.
  • There were racks of love items in the store. Some appeared to be parts of the human male anatomy. Prices ranged from $39.95 to (you won't believe this) $295.95 batteries and Viagra not included. I failed to see one thing that I could give a lady to express my romantic love for her. What mosquito netting has to do with love baffles me? If I purchased a $295.95 plus tax human replica I would expect it to be mounted over the fireplace to replace the Moose's head that reflects my hunting and providing skills.
  • I left the "Love Store" to research another Valentine's Day Tradition - "If a woman cuts open an apple, the number of seeds will tell her the number of children she'll have." I espied a young lady of great charm in Safeway, told her of the tradition, and asked her to aid me in my research. She agreed and took my knife and promptly sliced open a Watermelon and started counting seeds. I retold the story, explaining that it was an apple that she was to slice open. She refused, handed me my knife and said "I'm a Mormon and we are admonished to go forth and multiply. An apple is hardly addition, never mind multiplication." Math never was my best subject Lady.
  • Another tradition is to put your lady's name on a piece of cloth on your right sleeve(hence the expression "wearing his heart on his sleeve".) This is a no-brainer. Wiping your runny nose on her name is not a winner with our fair ladies in Calgary!
  • In another tradition, a man is supposed to run about with a strap of goat hide slapping the ladies buttocks to aid fertility. You may get away with it in Toronto, but try it not in the west. Our ladies have been tossing bales of hay around all winter. A slap and you'll get a swift kick in the slats cowboy! Now you will have to go to the "Love Shop" and pick up a $295.95 item for Valentines emergency demands (don't forget the batteries and Viagra.)
My research and life experience over four score and a bunch more years, has led me to the conclusion that:
  • · If you've found love you are very lucky.
  • Love is a two way street.
  • Love is easily lost unless constantly fertilized in small ways.
  • Love requires physical contact like holding hands, hugging and laughing.
  • You can't buy love but gifts are fertilizer too.
  • Quit analyzing life, love, friends; their difference provides perspective that gives great memories.
  • Above all else VERBALIZE your love. We need to be reminded the "I am important to you and you are important to me."
  • My second last point is "If you're a Mormon and some one gives you an apple, exchange it for a Watermelon and, after you count the seeds, make Non Al Watermelon wine.
  • Last point… "Be my Valentine and I'll be yours." The last Valentine I got was when I was in Grade 4. I'll never forget Rebecca, my first love.

Canadian Culture is much more up scale then US of A culture, if there is such a thing. San Francisco has been warned before by the ancient Gods and Goddesses for its immodest behavior and scorn of the ancient rituals of Valentine's Day. Earthquakes do not just happen; they are warnings to those who scoff at love and think that the Saints will not come marching in. The newspaper The San Francisco Gate is laying the foundation for the next big 'quake which may shatter "Locust Land" clear up to Vancouver for irreverence of Juno - Valentine et al with writings like this. I forecast the "Big Quake" for February the 14th. And here is why!

Here's the guy who brought on the second St Valentines Day Massacre. The first one was by a pack of Latter Day Romans in the East; this one will be by irate Roman Gods and Goddesses in the West. If my prediction is not accurate, beware of the Ides of March. Quake master By Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist


© Jack C. Downey CD 2004




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