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The Galloping Geezer
Jack Downey ~ The Galloping Geezer

"Photo Credit to Julie Ann Biggs out on the Mekong River, Cambodia Vietnam Border."

Jack Downey Comments on Canadian Issues to Inform and Amuse.



Where Do Dreams Go When You Wake Up?
"A pre Valentines Day wake up call."




I have seen so many lovely couples of all ages holding hands and looking with passion into each other's eyes, completely oblivious to the fact Cupid has only one arrow. There is a clangor to human love; it has a short Shelf Life. I feel that with the new technology available, when you think you're in eternal love, you and your partner of choice should be tested and your Best before Date be tattooed on your fore fingers. This will remind you, when you start discombobulating and pointing at each other, exactly what the relationship's Shelf Life is. You get fair warning every time you point your finger in anger and, like a Video Tape counter, you can watch the date run backwards until either you rewind back to the good parts or time runs out, the show is over and you both get a copy of your time together labeled Divorced. You end up eating popcorn alone while you constantly replay the Divorce Video over and over in a blue funk. Where did the dream go?

I have read somewhere that "Love is friendship gone wild, which after the glow settles down, returns to friendship." The situation seems to then be, "friendship - love friendship." The long engagement of days of yore provided this solid friendship that allowed the couple to have their 'gone wild love' then revert to friendship that lasted through life, in good times and bad. Let us define Cupid's critical target exactly. According to Merriam-Webster OnLine

Main Entry: 'love Pronunciation: 'l&v
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English lufu; akin to Old High German luba love, Old English lEof dear, Latin lubEre, libEre to please
1 a (1) : strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties (maternal love for a child) (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests (love for his old schoolmates) b : an assurance of love (give her my love)
2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion (love of the sea)
3 a : the object of attachment, devotion, or admiration (baseball was his first love) b (1) : a beloved person : DARLING -- often used as a term of endearment (2) British -- used as an informal term of address
4 a : unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another: as (1) : the fatherly concern of God for humankind (2) : brotherly concern for others b : a person's adoration of God
5 : a god or personification of love
6 : an amorous episode : LOVE AFFAIR
7 : the sexual embrace : COPULATION
8 : a score of zero (as in tennis)
9 capitalized, Christian Science : GOD
- at love : holding one's opponent scoreless in tennis
- in love : inspired by affection

Dictionary provided by Merriam-Webster OnLine

There is a serious change in the love situation in Canada. Our culture has been kicked and pummeled, twisted and stretched out of shape. The very family fabric is becoming unglued for a nightmare. It may be that marriage, as we have known it, has become obsolete.


See Divorce statistics chart click here

The risk of divorce varies substantially with the duration of marriage. The lowest risk of divorce in 2000 was in the first year of marriage, with less than one divorce for every 1,000 marriages.

The risk of divorce increased dramatically with each additional year of marriage. After the first anniversary, the divorce rate was 5.1 per 1,000 marriages. This increased to 17.0 divorces after the second anniversary, 23.6 divorces after the third, up to the peak of 25.5 after the fourth anniversary.

The risk of divorce decreased slowly for each additional year of marriage after the fourth. The majority (60%) of divorces in 1999 and 2000 were of couples married for less than 15 years.

The proportion of marriages expected to end in divorce by the 30th wedding anniversary increased slightly, to 37.3% in 1999 and to 37.7% in 2000, from the 1998 level of 36.1%. However, the proportion remained below the most recent high of 40% in 1995 and well below the all-time high of 50.6% in 1987. The most recent low was 34.8% in 1997.

The crude divorce rate increased 1.8% in 1999 to 232.5 divorces for every 100,000 people in the population. In 2000, it dropped a marginal 0.6% to 231.2.

Following amendments to the Divorce Act in 1985, the number of divorces increased more than 20% in 1986 and 1987. In 1987, an all-time high of 96,200 couples had their divorce finalized. That year, the crude divorce rate also reached a record high, 362.3 divorces per 100,000 people.

We know that the primary female's reason given for being divorced is "lack of communication." For males "Aw she was such a Bitch, never stopped complaining." Both are used to mask the real reasons. Brutality should be an automatic divorce. The next major cause for divorce is MONEY, not how much, but how it is spent and by whom. The family income must provide for life's necessities first and foremost, food, clothing, shelter, and education. What remains can then be used for entertainment and "toys." There are 'wants and needs' the spending of 'needs' money on 'wants' will bring down the wrath of the other partner and, as surely as a western blizzard is as cold as a Witch's tit on Halloween, destroy your dream The clarion call for pay back from the Bank or Credit Card providers will turn your dreams into nightmares. Pseudo dreams are bombarding us every day on TV, Bus/LRT adverts, magazines and newspapers. Most are nightmares, know what they say, nothing is free and you will pay the interest or GST at some time. Drop by drop, over-purchasing on credit will almost for certain start eating into the 'needs' money. Most often the woman in a marriage looks after the budget and sees danger ahead. Soon fear takes over and then confrontation with the other partner starts the nightmare as the Dream's foundation starts to crumble. Women can be irresponsible purchasers too. Unfortunately the disparity between men's and women's remunerations often turn a dream into a living hell as men do not consider the huge amount of extra chores at home as part of her contribution and she rightfully feels used or unappreciated.

Let us not talk of sex problems, in-laws, alcohol, drugs, gambling or illicit affairs, all of which will ensure that your dream is a nightmare now and that you will need a professional to get the ugliness out of you marriage. It is unlikely you that can do it alone. AA, GA and all the other systems offer their shoulders. They truly can help push the ugliness out of your dreams.

If you expected your happy dream to go on and on and that you'll never have to wake up, you're wrong. Like it or lump it, life is a hard daily struggle even for Bill Gates. He has nightmares about Apples. He gets bored too. The only difference between you a Bill Gates is that he has all his 'needs' and can afford all his 'wants.' For the rest of us life is mostly long periods of boredom punctuated by a few minutes of happiness. Unfortunately, we play the diabolical boring tapes over and over in our minds. Instead, we should try playing the 'happiness Dream tapes' over in our minds. Remember the good dreams and just discard the nightmares. The scarcest nightmare in life is to be alone with no dreams to look forward too. That said, "It's better to be alone, alone than be alone together."
13 Minutes.


A tale from the ancient Far East told to me around a Yak dung fire in Nepal.

A powerful Potentate was growing old. He had amassed a huge kingdom, precious gems by the sack, much gold, many wives and a huge harem. He was known far and wide as "The Earth Shaker:" His Ministers came to him and asked if he would consent to them writing his biography, to which he agreed. Various methods were discussed and finally it was agreed that the Ministers would come each Monday morning with a new chapter subject for the Potentate to think about and research as necessary. He would recount his memories on that subject to be recorded by the scribes. When that subject was covered and reviewed the next Monday's subject would be given. His birth and early childhood was recorded on the first Monday, followed a week later by his adolescent years training for war and conquest. Monday after Monday he would recount his life; his wives and concubines, riches he had plundered and cities he had sacked. It seemed he had fulfilled all his dreams. Finally the biography was approaching completion. The last chapter's subject was given to the Potentate…Happiness. The following Monday all the Ministers and scribes assembled in the great Throne Room and awaited their Lord and Master. Earth Shaker came in and spoke with out sitting, his voice was clear, but slow, when he said "Gentlemen, I went away last Monday and secluded my self to cogitate on this most important "Happiness" chapter. We are wasting our time, I thought and thought for a solid week and my conclusion is that in my long life I had 13 minutes of happiness, he turned and left a room full of shattered men who knew they had just heard the true answer to real life.

You too will be granted 13 minutes of happiness; these flashes are not to be squandered but are our dreams and very special times that make the nightmares go away.

Original engraving from here

An early Canadian love story and song that show Dreams do not disappear when you wake up but live on and on even after death, be sure to click Learn the story behind the song and hear the music. <BGSOUND SRC="maggie.mid">


Next week St. Valentines day, & Juno the Goddess of love.

© Jack C. Downey CD 2004





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